My goddam dog took the stroke-face emoticon (;p) and made it a fucking lifestyle.
Don’t hate the player; destroy the goddam game.
My friend Steve received this Ninja Turtle jokebook as a gift. A lot of the jokes, including the one on the cover, make no sense.
Also, two of the jokes are about suicide. (via miketrapp)
My friend, Matt, grew up with a joke book from the peanut council where all the punchlines were peanut (i.e. What peanut lives in a cave? Bat peanut).
He told Catherine and me about ten of the jokes. Each one of them made us laugh more than the first. I think we would have passed out if we had a chance to read the whole book.
Matthew Sweet - Thought I Knew You (via thearmored)
I have always liked how Matthew Sweet recorded saying “sorry” before singing about not caring anymore.Played 37 times.
Misunderstood jokes are like misunderstood lyrics to me — I usually prefer my interpretation better.
So for instance, the cartoon above was hilarious to me when I thought the guy was going to call the ’90s R &B group TLC and tell them he had a bad monkey. I mean, why would they care? And plus, the monkey has no idea what a great song “Scrubs” was.
But it turns out there is a a show on the cable channel TLC where someone has a monkey. And that is probably what the cartoon was about.
Related: I used to think Micheal Jackson said “show them hot monkey” in “Beat It.” He didn’t.
Songs: Ohia - I’ve Been Riding With The Ghost (via bmichael)Played 149 times.
Literally the plot of Space Jam.
Literally the plot of Space Jam. Literally the plot of Space Jam. Literally the plot of Space Jam.
Would you be a challah-cost denier?