bait and switch: Archive

Eric, you just singlehandedly ( forced pun...

thebrewerpatriot: Reading the article Does Anybody Date Anymore? that has been linked to 100 times today on Tumblr got me thinking that maybe one of the benefits of reaching the point as a society where sex is so commonplace and over-exposed is that the physically simple —- yet emotionally profound —- act of taking hold of someone’s hand can be absolutely overwhelming.

Apr 1st

23 notes

are the poems of your friends always going to be...

A Cassette Tape of Halloween Sounds, Etc. A cassette tape of Halloween sounds is playing somewhere in my neighborhood despite the fact it’s a cold February day and the children are all in snow pants at the city’s elementary schools working out variations on the theme of kickball. At home alone I’m attempting to find a radio personality to replace the real one I already...

Mar 31st

davidtrawin: 7 Seconds - 99 Red Balloons ...

Mar 31st

4 notes

Mar 31st

Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a... →

captain beefheart’s 10 commandments of guitar playing

Mar 30th

4 notes

Emptying Town I want to erase your footprints from my walls. Each pillow is thick with your reasons. Omens fill the sidewalk below my window: a woman in a party hat, clinging to a tin-foil balloon. Shadows creep slowly across the tar, someone yells, “Stop!” and I close my eyes. I can’t watch as this town slowly empties, leaving me strung between bon-voyages, like so many...

Mar 30th

1 note

Oh Jesus Christ

fusioned: Here comes the great “HOLY SHIT LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION TO TRY THIS FEATURE OUT” flood. it is taking all my self control to not post: “does this further infuriate and disgust you, vince?” as a question

Mar 30th

Insults Offered In The Movie The Sandlot That Can...

michaelorell: Butt sniffer Pus licker Eating dog crap for breakfast Eating weinies with your mama’s toe jam Bobbing for apples in the toilet and liking it Pee-drinking crap face Playing ball like a girl yeah, this list is funny—but not half as funny as the thought of mike watching the sandlot. i can only assume that the little mermaid was checked out.

Mar 30th

15 notes

Mar 29th

bmichael: Neutral Milk Hotel - Song Against Sex

Mar 27th

2 notes

good artists borrow. great artists kill.

shawn apple

Mar 27th

1 note

Nothing like a Bonnie Billy show to make me feel...

totten’s twitter

Mar 27th

My dear lungs

fusioned: So I’m talking to Julia and she’s all like “OK gotta go for a run now” and I think to myself “Man, you’re feeling a bit stressed from such a long day. You should run too! You have that huge olympic-sized track across the street in the park!” So I threw on the Nikes, fleece and iPod and went for a jog for the duration of the FabricLive 45 mix by A-Trak. I ran for 40 minutes straight...

Mar 27th

davidtrawin: Those Darlins - Wild One I am...

Mar 26th

2 notes

"You sensed that when Sonny Liston spat out his...

bert sugar

Mar 26th

a joke that has to be said aloud

why shouldn’t you take a shower near a pokemon? he may pikachu.

Mar 26th

4 notes

Mar 25th

Passive- Aggressive Compliments I Give to My Wife That Were Stolen From Prince Lyrics. BY DOUG CAMPBELL AND JULIA McCLOY - - - - “You must have taken a whole hour just to make up your face.” “You don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on.” “Maybe you’re just like my mother.”

Mar 25th

11 notes

your mother

If nervous tics were pizzas, yo mama would have five pizzas that freak everybody out. Yo mama’s so mentally disturbed, if depression were pastrami, anxiety mustard, and obsessive-compulsive disorder lettuce, she could eat her mental problems as a pretty good sandwich. Only one problem, though: no bread. Yo mama’s mix tapes are just a bunch of recent U2 songs on one side and a...

Mar 24th

3 notes

I'm so bad at doing dishes. I always have to put...

Mark Nichols (markn.tumblr.com) on Twitter

Mar 24th

cayce: My Morning Jacket - I Just Wanted To Be...

Mar 24th

me: It is funny. it is an anti-joke.

drew: well, then i anti- got it.

Mar 22nd

3 notes

Mar 22nd

Mar 21st

fred-wilson: California (All The Way) - Luna ...

Mar 21st

15 notes

I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as... →

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy. DAD: O.K. GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry. DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex. UNCLE: I’m having sex right now. DAD: We all are. MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best. DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell. MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell. FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice...

Mar 20th

17 notes

Mar 20th

remember that time your parents died--and then you... →

Mar 20th

2 notes

Mar 18th

16 notes

Mar 18th

1 note

Mar 18th

Its strange to watch myself fight on this show. I...

amir sadollah

Mar 17th

1 note

Mar 16th

53 notes

What's your best anti-joke? →

inky: Featuring the classic: What’s worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. I like knock knock who is there? desi arnez desi arnez, who desi arnez jr

Mar 16th

10 notes